The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

The Good:  Leo Messi is used to being compared to the Argentinian Soccer God, Diego Maradona.  Comes with the territory I guess if you burst on the international scene in your teens and score goals like this...
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Look familiar?  Yeah, it's pretty much a step by step repeat of Maradona's Goal of the Century.  Let's just hope Messi can avoid falling into the downward spiral of coke, binge eating and Communism that have wrecked Diego's post-retirement life.
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The Bad:  Great day for Bay Area sports yesterday with the Warriors earning their playoff spot, the Sharks going up 3-1 over Nashville and the A's and Giants both notching W's.  I hate to tell you wine & cheese sports fans up in Northern California...but there's nowhere to go but down.  Your teams just don't know how to seal the deal.
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The Ugly:  The Angels' loss to Oakland yesterday wraps up a long road trip, where they went a piss poor 1-7.  The LA Times got out their calculator and added up that Anaheim Los Angeles was outscored 44-16 in those games.  Nice.  If you're still hunting around for a bet against team this season...you may have found it.

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

The Good:  Dice-K notched a W in his major league debut yesterday.  Striking out 10 guys ain't easy...but let's not forget the Red Sox were playing the Royals.  So I'd say the 10k's stacked up against 6 hits and a walk adds up to be a decent debut...not one worthy of the 4-alarm-hype-fire raging in Bristol, CT.
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The Bad:  Ye Olde England might have a soccer hooligan problem on their hands again.  ManU fans were stirring shit up in Rome, while Tottenham goons were cracking skulls down in Seville.  Don't be surprised to see the Euros tighten up security even more when English teams come to play.

Two lessons in this.  One, don't fuck with the Romans.  And two, you Philadelphia Eagles fans are lucky you've somehow avoided the "hooligan" label cuz the second that sticks...people stop laughing about flying batteries and bags of piss and start getting tough on crime.
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The Ugly: A-Rod appears to be melting under the bright lights of the post season...in April.  The fragile shell of a man struck out with bases loaded in the 8th and the Yanks went on to lose to the Devil Rays.  So my big question is...will the NY press reaming A-Rod a new A-Hole this early in the season cause the guy to raise his level of play?  Or is this the year his teammates find him in the lockerroom curled up in a the fetal position with a wet diaper on?

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

The Good:  When the Baby Bulls picked up Big Ben in the off season, I had high hopes of Chi-town running away with it in the East.  Those dreams didn't amount to much though since Chicago only went 34-38-1 ATS and they trail Motown and Cleveland for the top spot in the Central.  But the good news is...the Bulls are in the Playoffs and from here on out will be gunning to overtake LeBron & Co.for the #2 seed.   In other words, this point in the season is when every game really matters and basketball betting becomes more predictable.  So start spreading that bankroll around as the regular season winds down...and you'll rake in more Playoff green you can blow on the Mavs/Suns/Heat/Pistons.
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The Bad:  We're minus-2 days into the MLB season and Kenny Rogers is already tired and on the DL.  Although I'm sure he'll bounce back and be on the mound before too long Roger Clemens, but I'll be looking for spots to bet against him all season long.  Age is more than a number...it's a fact that can slow you and your pine tar pitches down.  Add in the heavy wood you'll have to lay if you wanna bet on Rogers and you can see why betting against the Tigers on a runline dog is where the smart green will be.
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The Ugly:  I'm sure pissing in a cup in front of some big German dude isn't very fun.  But hey...if Bayern Munich is paying you millions and urine tests are part of the deal, you should be ready to drop your shorts and take a whiz with a smile across your face...not flip out and throw your piss sample at the team doctor.  I'll bet you it will sting every time Oliver Kahn takes a leak during his UEFA suspension.

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

The Good:  I know you haven't been paying much attention to the Not Important Tournament, but tonight's final will scratch your college hoops and betting itch before the Final 4 cranks up Saturday.  You already know how I feel about those scrappy West Virginia hillbilly's.  Unfortunately, you can only get them as a 1.0 point underdog right now, so you better feel confident that the shitty version of the Jeckyll and Hyde Clemson Tigers takes the court before backing WVU.  Either way, a solid ACC team vs an underrated Big East squad could give us a hell of a game.
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The Bad: Dirk rolled his ankle last night against the Bucks and if a stupid, late season injury derails my moneytrain, I'm gonna be pissed.  The Mavs have been stellar against the spread this season (4th best in the NBA at 37-30-4 ATS), even as heavy favorites.  But without all their starters and deep bench healthy, happy and rested going into the Playoffs, they'll come up short again this year...ATS and straight up.
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The Ugly:  Diego Maradona's public slide toward the grave took another weird twist in Argentina last night.  The guy checked himself into the hospital for excessive eating, drinking and smoking...before waking up a few hours later, insulting his doctor and trying to bolt for the door.  Maradona is now officially the Anna Nicole Smith of the sporting world.  Luckily he ain't pregnant.  And in case you're wondering why anybody cares...
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Makes his demise even sadder, doesn't it?

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

The Good:  Agent Zero added another chapter to his freak show season last night in the Wizards' win over the Warriors.  The final buzzer sounded with Washington down by 2 points, but the zebras called a foul on Pietrus, put 0.10 second back on the clock and gave Gilbert the chance to tie it up from the charity stripe.  That pissed off Coach Nelson so bad, he stormed the court and got himself a T.  Big Gil on the line sunk 3 for 3 even after the Warriors iced him with a time out before the game winner.  I guarantee that obsessive compulsive, around the waist 3 times thing Arenas does before shooting free throws stung like salt in a wound for the entire Warriors team.  But the guy was clutch when it counted...even if it was a strange way to win a game.
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The Bad:  Looks like David Beckham is going to have to play his first MLS game on crutches because the people who paid him a quarter of a billion bucks won't want to hear any my ligaments are torn excuses.  Lace up your football boots and get on the pitch, you big girl's blouse.
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The Ugly:   I just want to know, in all honesty.  Did Coach K teach his players to lead with their elbows when they come flying into the paint?  That Ultimate Fighting move by Henderson was the best goon play I've seen in basketball all year.  Deadspin's got the video (from about 17 different angles) if you're interested.

Ever heard of plastic cups?

You'd think with all the exporting of American products and culture that occurs on the global market, we'd have convinced the Spanish to serve beer in Budweiser plastic cups instead of bottles at their soccer games.  But I'm afraid we have not.  And that's why...
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Sevilla coach Juande Ramos was knocked unconscious by a flying bottle during a match against Betis last night.
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Ramos is a pretty forgiving guy.  On his way out of the hospital, he said "Betis fans aren't represented by the lunatic who threw that bottle."  He's right.  But Betis fans ARE represented by all the fans who threw rocks at the ambulance that carried him off the field and to the hospital.  Rocks and bottles in the stadium?  Nice.
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Other highlights from the game include marbles pelting the Sevilla club president and a visiting lockerroom so heavily doused in bleach that it burned the eyes of Sevilla players and staff.
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Stay classy, Betis.

It had everything

I told you yesterday's Carling Cup final between Chelsea and Arsenal had the potential to be a hell of a game.  But I gotta admit, I didn't think it would have John Terry getting knocked unconscious, Arsenal's young guns showing they're the real deal, a brawl during stoppage time and an action packed 2-1 win for Chelsea.  And some of you dickweeds thought soccer was boring.
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Don't worry.  John Terry was back from the Doc's office in time to celebrate the win with the Blues.

Posh Spice is soccer's Yoko Ono

Bayern Munich manager, Uli Hoeness, thinks the lovely inflatable Mrs. Beckham is "the death of football."  In other words...she's the Yoko Ono of soccer.
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Pretty harsh words to scream in public (Germans physically can't whisper - it's true).  I mean, Beckham may have put a HUGE free kick into the net for Real Madrid the other day, but 2 weeks ago the press, fans and coaches thought he was an over the hill one trick (right footed set pieces) pony.  Now his moving to America, the biggest untapped soccer market on earth, is the death of the game?
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You know what Uli?  Kiss my ass.  I may not be the biggest Becks fan on earth.  And honestly I'm dreading the hype his skanky wife waif will bring with her to the very short MLS Red Carpet.  But if losing one bench sitting pretty boy to the LA Galaxy is all it takes to kill the biggest sport in the world...well then it wasn't really in very good shape to begin with.
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I vote as a nation, we take this swipe at our soccer potential to heart.  We almost knocked off Ze Germans in the 2002 World Cup (damn you Ballack!!!).  Let's hope we get another crack at them in 2010.