Cornholed by the cornfeds

Angela was on the fence...
My favorite big men faced each other last night...Shaq and Sheed.  What a game!  Couldn't decide who to bet on, so I just enjoyed the show.  A bunch of us watched it at a bar and needless to say...the boys were impressed (or intimidated) by my sports knowledge.
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Maybe if this NBX Wisegirl job doesn't work out, I'll be a bookie.  What do you think, Lou?
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Sorry Angela, but every bookie I know is short, fat and hairy.  So I don't think you're qualified...thank god.
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You got that right about the Heat/Pistons game last night.  Two powerhouse teams duking it out.  The Lakers, Cavs and 76ers should make Kobe, LeBron and Iverson sit down and watch the tape.  That was real teamwork.  7 guys in double digits and plenty of passing to go around.  It wasn't a value line (-6 Pistons) cuz you knew it'd be close.  But a hell of a game to watch.
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NBX was also locked in a tight race yesterday in that "Best newcomer" poll.  But thanks to all you dickweeds we've pulled into the lead.  No time to rest until it's over.  So vote early and often.
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The fucking Ducks lost a close one last night.  So a cornfed team cornholed us for the second day in a row.  Would have gone the other way with Oregon covering the spread IF Sooner's LB Clint Ingram would have paid attention.  His offensive coordinator called for him to rush, but instead the prick blocked our game winning pass.  Thanks for nuthin.
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Hope the FSU cowgirls didn't talk you into betting the rent money on the Noles.  Their star LB is out of the Orange Bowl after being accused of rape.  No charges yet, but it was enough to get his ass sent home early.  Never underestimate college players doing something stupid before a bowl game.  Apparently before their bowl game last year, UCLA had players showing up drunk for team meetings.  So we'll do our best to identify teams that'll save the drinking and ladies until after the game is over.
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There's a little justice in the world today.  Our old pal Larry Kruger got picked up for a new radio gig now that the dust has settled.  Good to have you back, Larry.
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So where's the smart green today...
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Ace & Hot Rod's Value Line (12/30/05)

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We're putting 2.6 units on Miami (moneyline -260) over LSU in the Peach Bowl today.**

• Offensive scoring: Miami 29.3ppg, LSU 28.6ppg
• Defensive points allowed:  Miami 11.9ppg, LSU 15.2ppg
• Point scoring differentials:  Miami 17.4ppg, LSU 13.4ppg
• Miami has the 2^nd stingiest defense and the best pass defense.
• Miami is ranked 9^th, LSU 10^th and Miami leads LSU in total yards and rushing yards per game.

**Up to game time, picks can change with shifting lines, injuries and arrests.  So check back just before the game/event starts, or subscribe to the RSS feed so you get the updates automatically.**

 

Choking on chalk dust

Joanne is an Aussie who Rules...
G'day mates.  As an Australian in America, I'm still getting my head around American football.  But living in LA, I've been swept up with USC fever just like everyone else!!!
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Lou, any chance you can get me into the game with Ace & Hot Rod?  I promise to be a good luck charm for Matt Leinart if you get good seats!
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Joanne, how about I take up a wiseguy collection to put you in the front row on the 50 yard line IF you guarantee they'll cover the spread.  Sound good?
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The other spread I want you and all the other NBXers out there to cover is the "Best Newcomer" poll we've been nominated for at Red Reporter.  We were way out in front until some Yankees site bought votes with Big Stein's dough.  We're not gonna let Team Moneyball stick it to the rest of us again, are we?
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I'll tell you who did stick it to us...Michigan.  These guys must have choked on all the chalk dust with the way they shit the bed against Nebraska.  I know a wiseguy that won't ever put green down on these pricks cuz they burned him in the 1987 Rose Bowl against Arizona State.  Sweet Lou might just keep these guys on my shit list for the next 20 years too.  A 10pt chalk team loses their 5th game of the year and all 5 losses add up to 20pts!?!?  These guys just can't hold their shit together when it counts.  They're like a pathetic "nice" friend who can't seal the deal with a broad to save his life.  Losers.
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Boise State screwed up big time before their game against Boston College even started.  The dipshits got to play the bowl game at home and probably figured that was an advantage.  But when the pre-game banquet turned into a pep rally the Eagles got pissed.  The last straw was title sponsor MPC Computers' CEO turning DE Mathias Kiwanuka's name into a punch line.  An angry defensive line and a little Boston Irish rage taught the farm boys to keep their mouths shut.
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Oregon will have their work cut out for them today against Oklahoma.  If Adrian Peterson puts up big rushing numbers for the Sooners, it's gonna be close.  But Oregon faced some good teams this year and after a few weeks rest should rise to the occasion.  We talked this Value Line over last week in the Sports Action Show and I think the boys picked a good one here with the Ducks -3.
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USC coach Carroll locked up a long term coaching gig before next week's game.  Rumor has it the deal is 5 years at $3 mill per year.  Good move for Carroll when you considering his 2 Heisman winners are out the door January 5th and there's nowhere to go but down.
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Hopefully you dickweeds listened when I warned you that the Lakers need more than just Kobe to win games.  The one man team put up 45pts in their loss last night to Memphis.  Trust me, that's only the beginning if he doesn't learn to pass soon.
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Where's the smart green today...
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Ace & Hot Rod's Value Line (12/29/05)

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We're putting 1.05 units on Oregon (-3, -105) over Oklahoma in the Holiday Bowl today.**

• Offensive scoring: Oregon 36.4ppg, Oklahoma 27.8ppg
• Defensive points allowed:  Oregon 23.7ppg, Oklahoma 23.9ppg
• Point scoring differentials:  Oregon 12.6ppg, Oklahoma 3.9ppg
• Oregon is 18-7 ATS in their last 25 lined games.
• Oregon is ranked 6^th and leads Oklahoma in total yards and passing yards per game.

**Up to game time, picks can change with shifting lines, injuries and arrests.  So check back just before the game/event starts, or subscribe to the RSS feed so you get the updates automatically.**

 

Fake wiseguy muscle

Gina's laying the wood...
I did like Ace & Hot Rod said and bet the moneyline on Clemson.  Cha-ching, baby!  So, I'm thinking of "laying the wood" again on Michigan.  My school isn't in a bowl.  So it's been easy for me to be detached emotionally.
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But Lou...what I really want to do is pad my bankroll for a big laydown against USC!  The Pretty Boy and Bush are going down!  HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
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Ok, Gina.  Ok.  Easy girl.  Sounds like you're emotions aren't really in check yet.  But hey, Sweet Lou likes your enthusiasm.  And like we talked about the other day, the smart green is on Michigan tonight.  But all the wiseguy green is lining up behind the Trojans to push the Longhorns around.
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The pretend wiseguy muscle lined up behind the Jersey boys last night.  But, the flu sacked ASU team still stuck it to Rutgers.  At 45-40, this game looked like there was no defense even on the field for either team. 
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Never any doubt for Gina or anyone else who layed the wood on Clemson.  They won because of the performance of freshman James Davis, who according to the coach "doesn't know what he's doing."  Colorado's piss poor season is finally over, so the hippies in Boulder can get back to supporting the ultimate frisbee team and quit wasting time on football.  With the shit these guys have brought to the field in their last few games, it is ridiculous they even landed a bowl game.  Just shows how deep you gotta scrape the barrel to get teams for 2-fucking-8 bowl games.
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Michigan vs Nebraska tonight in the Alamo Bowl.  The Wolverines are the heavy chalk for good reason...they're a lot better team than their record shows.  They lost 4 games this season by a total of 17pts.  So they are out to prove something tonight.  But Nebraska is scrappy and that's why a little insurance with the moneyline is the smart laydown.
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Iverson and Webber stepped up ATS last night in Denver.  They went in as dogs against Melo (who put up 45pts) and the Nuggets.  So things are falling into place just like I said they would.  Keep looking for The House to underestimate the 76ers for a few more games on this road trip.  But be careful when they get a little homesick.  7 games on the road is a long time to sustain momentum.
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T-Mac was rollin' over the Jazz last night in the 1st half.  But the team fell apart after he left the game to be with his old lady when she went into labor.  So congrats to them for the birth of Lil' Mac.
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And I gotta pat myself and all you dickweeds on the back for pushing us into the lead on the "Best Newcomer" poll at Red Reporter.  If you voted for our little slice of heaven, thanks.  If not, get your ass over there and do it.
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In case you missed it, your friend Iron Mike was singing Xmas carols with Jimmy Kimmel the other night.  The punch drunk son of bitch can't even read his lines but he sure scares the shit out of Jimmy.  Deadspin has a link to the video.
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So where's the smart green today...
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Ace & Hot Rod's Value Line (12/28/05)

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We're putting 4.0 units on Michigan (moneyline -400) over Nebraska in the Alamo Bowl today.**

• Offensive scoring:  Michigan 28.8ppg, Nebraska 24.0ppg
• Defensive points allowed:  Michigan 19.3ppg, Nebraska 20.4ppg
• Point scoring differentials:  Michigan 9.5ppg, Nebraska 3.6ppg
• Michigan leads Nebraska in total yards and rushing yards per game.
• Michigan’s ranked 20^th and is 42-11 since 2001 when they score 20 or more points in a game.

**Up to game time, picks can change with shifting lines, injuries and arrests.  So check back just before the game/event starts, or subscribe to the RSS feed so you get the updates automatically.**

 

Change the channel

Introducing NBX Wisegirl, Racquel...
Hey Lou, I watched the Pats/Jets game last night with some friends at our local bar.  Thanks to a Value Line you guys had up last week, the bartender owed me free drinks all night!  The game sucked so they kept putting up pictures of MNF hosts with porn mustaches (which are only hot on Jason Lee) and toupees.  But no leisure suits or new studio makes these guys any easier to listen to.
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Any chance you could work your magic and get ESPN to let a real man call the games?
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Racquel, baby, nobody has watched more MNF games with the TV on mute than Sweet Lou.  And this "end of an era" crap the sports hacks are bombarding us with is just these guys touching each others' peepees.  The only difference next fall is that you gotta change the channel.  Same shit different station.
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You're right about that game though.  The Jets had 28 yards and NO 1st downs in the 1st half.  I think they only put up a few points in the 2nd half because some Pats players had green on the Over.  Hopefully you took the Value Line and made it worth your while.  But let's not get too far out on the Pats train yet...Bruschi is out again with a leg injury.  I've been warning you since the summer that this guy's presence in the locker-room and defensive huddle helps hold this team together.  So we'll have to keep an eye on the injury reports heading into next week's game against the Dolphins.  Joey Public is gonna want to ride the Pats.  So without a couple of their starters suiting up, the smart green might be taking the Miami plus the points.  We'll see...
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The real NCAA bowls are starting up now.  So its time to pay attention to college football news that doesn't just involve Bush, Leinart or Young.  Miami WR Ryan Moore got suspended heading into Friday's Peach Bowl.  The kid is the 3rd ranked receiver in the nation.  So if The House doesn't take notice, might be a Value Line on LSU in a game that had been too close to call in my opinion.
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Arizona State's team is sick as dogs with a few hours to go before kick off in the Insight Bowl tonight, but The House is still holding the line at -10.  No news like that about the Clemson/Colorado Value Line we discussed in the Sports Action Show the other day, but you never know when the shit will hit the fan with these college players running around chasing co-ed tail.
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Looks like Deputy Shaq is gonna start practicing with sumo wrestlers in the paint cuz nobody else can give the 340lb son of a bitch any trouble near the rim.
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If that doesn't work, they could try getting that scrappy little minx, Eva Longoria to claw at Shaq...as long as she's not in jail.  Eva and Tony got into it with a bike cop outside a bar the other night. 
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But the real police blotter story of the week is Jeff Reardon, a 4 time All Star pitcher, getting popped for armed robbery of a jewelry store in Palm Beach.  Hope he's a pitcher and not a catcher in the clink.
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Ace & Hot Rod's Value Line (12/27/05)

We're putting 3.80 units on Clemson (moneyline -380) over Colorado in the Champs Sports Bowl today.**

• Offensive scoring: Clemson 27.6ppg, Colorado 24.6ppg
• Defensive points allowed: Clemson 18.3ppg, Colorado 24.0ppg
• Point scoring differentials: Clemson 8.7ppg, Colorado 0.6ppg
• Last 3 games: Clemson 3-0, Colorado 0-3
• Colorado's starting QB, Joel Klatt, is listed as doubtful

**Up to game time, picks can change with shifting lines, injuries and arrests.  So check back just before the game/event starts, or subscribe to the RSS feed so you get the updates automatically.**

Xmas green

Monica...naughty?  Nice?    
Well boys, I must have been good this year cuz Santa brought me an early present.
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My girls and I partied with the Cal Bears the other night after their big win here in Vegas.  Fun night and great practice for when Matt Leinart sweeps me off my feet after they win the Rose Bowl next week.  But when that happens, I'll definitely be naughty...
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Sorry Monica, but if Matty wins he'll be dancing with Reggie Bush all night for carrying them both to bigger NFL draft paydays. 
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Hope all you pricks had a great Xmas and made a little green on yesterday's action.  If you're like me, you rushed the whole family through the sappy motions so you can get a drink and put your feet up for the games.
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The Spurs looked like they just wanted to kick up their feet in front of a warm fire and sip egg nog yesterday.  What the hell kind of show was that?  Blown out on Xmas day by the team they smacked around for the championship last season.  That's embarrassing any day, but when everyone is watching it's pathetic.
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At least the LA Kobes vs Miami Shaqs was a game you could watch.  Lots of crap flying around from the sports hacks about the feud between the NBA's 2 biggest names.  Who gives a shit?  They gave us a good dogfight.  And if you grabbed your sack and rode the Lakers +6, you made a little Xmas green.
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The NFL playoff picture is getting more clear every day.  If you're still confused about who's still alive, here's the breakdown.  We're lucky the Vikings shit the bed yesterday or it would have been a mathematical mess.
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The Bears locked up a playoff spot.  You see all the sports hacks talking like making the playoffs is the finish line in the NFL.  But the Giants desperate auditions for linebackers should remind you there is a lot more games to play before someone gets the only trophy that matters.
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If you're thinking you've got what it takes to help the Giants but wonder what it's like to get hit by an NFL linebacker, just ask this dipshit.  Looks like he got his bell rung pretty good.
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Ace & Hot Rod's Value Line (12/26/05)

We're putting 3.40 units on the Patriots (moneyline -340) against the Jets tonight.**

• Off. scoring last 3 games: Pats 26.3ppg, Jets 16.3ppg
• Def. pts allowed last 3 games: Pats 3.3ppg, Jets 16.7ppg
• Point scoring differentials last 3 games: Pats 23, Jets -0.4
• Point scoring differentials for the season: Pats 2.4, Jets -7.8 
• 87.5% of the time in the NFL, a team who's won 60-75% of their games, and 4 of their last 5, will beat a team with a losing record in the 2nd half of the season.

**Up to game time, picks can change with shifting lines, injuries and arrests.  So check back just before the game/event starts, or subscribe to the RSS feed so you get the updates automatically.**

The real deal

Angela is wearing your Xmas stockings...
What do I want for Xmas?  Besides diamonds, a Nano and some sexy new boots...I want Shaq to crush Kobe, Sheed to block every shot Tony Parker throws up and for beautiful Brett Favre to win one for me today.  I want all that and I want it now!
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Santa Lou, can you bring me everything on my list?
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Angela, I suspect you been naughty.  But Santa Lou will do his best.
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Some real shitball teams have been eliminated from the playoffs in the last couple weeks.  But now some teams that weren't just playing in the NFL for the cheerleader tail are getting knocked out of contention.  So only teams that are the real deal are still in the hunt for the post season.
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The Chargers took down some big competition this year, but came up short against the Chiefs yesterday in the mud.  LT was letting balls bounce off his chest and Brees never got in a groove.  The real shame is not getting to see LT redeem himself in the post season.  Tons of potential but a little spotty this year when the opposing Ds executed on their plans to contain him.   We'll see how The House and Joey Public treat these guys next year.  With a little more consistency, we'll make green riding the Chargers.  If they are all over place again, we'll look to go the other way when the time is right.
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The House didn't think much of the Colts chances against the Seahawks yesterday.  I'm sure a lot of guys blew the rent on Manning and the boys yesterday thinking they'd stay within 10pts or even win the game outright.  Unfortunately for those chumps Shaun Alexander was on fire.  But you had to have the feeling this was some kinda Colts set up to lull their playoff opponents into submission.  Any way you look at it, this will help Joey Public run away from the Colts.  Great news for us if The House follows Joey's lead and give the Colts a little more love on the lines.  Easy green.
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A whole lot of action on tap today.  The NBA is pulling out all the stops with the Spurs/Pistons and Lakers/Heat match ups.  Both home teams (Detroit & Miami) are giving up at least 6 on the spread.  With the whole world inhaling Xmas dinner in record time so they can sit in front of the TV to watch, these games are gonna be tight.  So if you hurry and return the Journey's Greatest Hits records you got from your mom, you'll have a little green to lay down.
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I know Ace & Hot Rod wanna weigh in on the NFL action today.  The Bears and Vikings are trying not to embarrass themselves before the playoffs.  The Vikings still have a shot at a Wild Card spot.  But losing tonight would end their roller coaster season.  And the Bears just don't want to be the team on field when Favre snaps out of his funk and stops throwing to the wrong guys.

Ace & Hot Rod's Value Lines (12/25/05)

We're putting 1.03 units on Chicago (-7, -103) against the Packers today.**

• Off. scoring last 3 games: CHI 14.7ppg, G.B. 8.7ppg
• Def. pts allowed last 3 games: CHI 10.3ppg, G.B. 26.7ppg
• Point scoring differentials last 3 games: CHI 4.4ppg, G.B. -18ppg
• Packers RB Gado's out with a knee injury (avgd 1TD/game in last 7).
• Chicago's 8-1 ATS against conference opponents this season (outscored opponents by an average of 11ppg).

We're also putting 1.10 units on the over (31.5, -110) for the Bears/Packers game.**

• Combined Off for these 2 teams: 34.5
• Combined Def for these 2 teams: 32.4
• Last 7 played between these 2 teams: 5-2 o/u
• Last 11 played between these 2 teams in G.B.: 8-3 o/u 
• 18 of the 27 games played between these 2 teams have gone over the total
• G.B. is 22-9 o/u verse poor offensive teams (averaging <=4.75 yards/play)
• G.B. average total this season: 40.07
• G.B. totals this season: 10 games over 31; 4 under 31 
• G.B. should bounce back after that pathetic game against the Ravens on Monday Night and put at least a few points on the board
• Over covers 78.9% of the time in games involving a road team who allowed 3 pts or less in the 1st half of their last game played vs a home team who scored 9 pts or less last game.

**Up to game time, picks can change with shifting lines, injuries and arrests.  So check back just before the game/event starts, or subscribe to the RSS feed so you get the updates automatically.**

All I want for Xmas

Oh Mandy...
I like walks on the beach, puppy dogs and ice-cream...but I LOVE 3rd down conversions, The Answer and underdogs that cover.  That's why my girl Brooke and I have been all over NBX for months.  And now, we are literally all over NBX!!!
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Like Lou said yesterday, Santa is bringing us sports fans a lot to look forward to this weekend.  So, I'm counting on Lou and his boys to help me through the week's football action.
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Mandy baby, is it too late for you to keep me warm out here in New York?  That's all I want for Xmas.  We threw you and the other NBXers a big bone last night in the Sports Action Show.  Ace & Hot Rod threw up 10 potential Value Lines for all you degenerates.  Don't forget to kiss your mother hello before you park yourself in front of the big screen for the week.
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The marquee match up today is the Colts/Seahawks game.  Every sports hack on earth is writing something about this being a sneak preview of the SuperBowl.  But with Dungy's tragedy, 3 starters at home on the couch and nothing to play for, this game could be a big disappointment.  Of course we're all gonna watch it anyway.  So for Xmas, if Santa could have this game be an epic dogfight  Sweet Lou will be a happy man.  Especially when my action covers and I get a little extra green in my stocking.
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Hopefully you followed my advice yesterday and avoided the 76ers.  Just like I said, Iverson was distracted by some family bullshit.  But instead of throwing up bricks...he forgot to pass the ball!  53pts for the little guy so whatever is going on at home has him pretty wound up.  If he can maintain a bit of that fire AND include a teammate in the game from time to time, this road trip can still rake in some green for us.
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Kobe learned his ball hog lesson the other day and had 9 assists last night as the Lakers crushed Orlando.  But big points or big assists are easy when you're beating the shit out of the other team.  We'll see if this is the new Kobe "No i in Team" Bryant tomorrow against the Heat.
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You gotta wonder who put these idiots in charge of the Olympics.  Turns out London might have gotten the 2012 games because some Greek IOC jackass forgot who he voted for. 
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Portland was an 11pt dog last night and rolled over the Timberwolves 91-83.  So Ace & Hot Rod are on fire again at 21-6 and up a lot of units for the month.  Where's the smart green headed today...

Ace and Hot Rod's Value Line (12/24/05)

We're putting 1.10 units on San Diego (straight-up, -110) against K.C. today.**

• Off. scoring: S.D. 28.9, K.C. 24.7; Def. pts allowed: S.D. 19.2, K.C. 22.5
• Point Scoring Differential: S.D. 9.6, K.C. 2.2
• Chargers: 3rd highest scoring team and best run defense in the NFL.
• K.C. has the worst pass defense in the NFL.
• S.D. (road): 10-2 ATS vs teams that allow 5.65 yds/play or more.

**Up to game time, picks can change with shifting lines, injuries and arrests.  So check back just before the game/event starts, or subscribe to the RSS feed so you get the updates automatically.**

 

Rollin' in it

Brooke is on board...
Hey boys, the only thing keeping us warm up here in Minnesota this winter is the Vikings.  So my friends and I want to put a little prop bet on the table for the team...
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Make the playoffs and we'll throw a boat party for you to celebrate!  Brad Johnson is gonna shake off last week's loss and Tice is taking us all the way!
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What do you say Lou?  How are Minnesota's chances?
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Brooke, you have old Sweet Lou's promise that I'm gonna pull whatever strings I can to make it happen...as long as there's a life preserver on board for me.  First thing I'm gonna do is take up a collection back at NBX headquarters, cuz Ace & Hot Rod are rollin' in it again.  2 for 2 in the college bowls with more on tap this weekend.  The little punks owe Lou a little XMas green.
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The Cal Bears hung on by the skin of their teeth last night against BYU.  Lucky the boys took the moneyline since the Bears were 1/2 pt short ATS.  Nice work reading this matchup and anticipating a big running game.  Marshawn Lynch had 194 yards and 3 TDs finding gaps in the Mormon's D.  Lots of potential for the '06 season since Lynch and Jackson, the 2 bad ass RBs, have 2 or 3 more college seasons left.  The Bears will be good earners for us next fall.
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Navy crushed CSU with their #1 ranked rushing game last night.  The little birdie that told Ace this game was a lock was right again.  Reggie Campbell tied a Bowl record with 5 TDs and was running so fast you have to watch it in slow motion to see his legs.  With their running game putting up big numbers and Campbell returning as a junior, Navy is another team to remember next year.  A little more maturity and a better start to season and these guys will be surprising The House and handing us some easy green.
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Lots of green on the table this week with enough NFL, BCS and NBA action to make your head spin like you been drinking good Scotch since breakfast.  Remember, The House knows Joey Public can't possibly keep up with all the action on the table this week.  So there's a good chance The House will set some great Value Lines to take the dough right out of Joey's XMas stocking.  Ace, Hot Rod and your old uncle Lou have a HUGE Sports Action Show for you today.  So hit the site later for a breakdown of where the smart green is headed.
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I told you the other day there could be some Value Lines on the 76ers roadtrip.  They face the home dog Hawks (+3.5) tonight, but I'm not sure you should bite on this one.  The Answer has some problems at home and didn't travel with the team yesterday.  He's supposed to be in Hotlanta tonight, but I'm thinking he'll be distracted.  Sit on your bankroll unless more news leaks out about Iverson's latest personal mess.
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No family issue is harder than the one Tony Dungy is facing.  Looks like his son's death was a suicide.  Everyone's hearts go out to the guy and you can bet the Colts are gonna play like a team possessed against Seattle tomorrow.
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You can tell baseball fans are starved for news this week because there are way too many sports hacks doing stories on Johnny Damon's haircut.  But let the hacks and The House pump up the Yankees in Joey Public's head again.  Easy green for us when they are always the heavy chalk.
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Fidel is still itching to get his ballplayers into the World Baseball Classic.  The latest offer is for Cuba to donate all their dough they earn in the series to hurricane Katrina relief.  So a piss poor country wants to GIVE US MONEY and we're still not gonna let them play baseball here!  Don't worry compadres, Sweet Lou will hire a fishing boat to bring you and a couple of Cuban senoritas here myself if I have to...and Brooke's gonna be my first mate.

Ace and Hot Rod's Value Line (12/23/05)

We're putting 1.10 units on the Trail Blazers (+11.5, -110) against the Timberwolves tonight.**

• Offensive scoring differential: 6.4 (Portland 86.4, MN 92.8)
• Defensive points allowed differential: 6.6 (Portland 95.4, MN 88.8)
• Portland's 63-38 ATS in road games after playing 2 consecutive road games.
• Portland's 5-2 ATS for their last 7.
• Plays against 10+ pt favorites, after having lost 4 of their last 5 games, cover 81.8% of the time.

**Up to game time, picks can change with shifting lines, injuries and arrests.  So check back just before the game/event starts, or subscribe to the RSS feed so you get the updates automatically.**

Wisegirls in the mix

Meet NBX Wisegirl Monica
My pretty face grew up on Trojan football in a house full of USC facepainters.  But I know better than to let emotions cloud my judgment.  So you'll see me cheering for my future husband, Matt Leinart, in the Rose Bowl.  But I'm gonna wait to see how Sweet Lou and his wiseguy friends think the game will turn out before putting all of Ace & Hot Rod's $1 bills on the game.

To see more of Monica click here.

I gotta give Ace & Hot Rod a little credit...2/3 last  night with no help from me.  And it would have been a hat trick if the Jailblazers and Memphis put 5 more points on the board.  But what really impressed me is my temporary replacement...NBX Wisegirl Monica.  Benvenuto a NBX, la mia donna bella.

Anyway, enough about you dickweeds in California. Let's talk about Sweet Lou freezing his ass off in NYC.  Lucky I've been cleaning up at Derek Jeter's Underground House of Cards.  The green stuffed in every pocket of my jacket is keeping me warm while I WALK the streets.  But no walk in New York is colder than Marbury's walk to the bench. Booed at home and the Knicks blow their 7th in a row.  Laying the wood against this pathetic bunch makes sense until Brown shows signs of  straightening shit out over there.  And I don't see any signs of that happening soon.
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On the other hand, the 76ers look like they're playing nice with each other cuz Webber and Iverson are starting to notice they aren't the only guys on the court. So they've got a little momentum heading into some time on the road. The House might underestimate these guys a little while they're living out of suitcases.  So we'll keep an eye out for Value Lines on Philly for the next couple weeks.
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The sports hacks are all still trying to go down on Kobe after his 62pt game.  Maybe none of these dipshits remember that the TEAM with the highest score actually wins.  Lakers won Tuesday, but Kobe vs the NBA ain't gonna cut it all season.  Some of these pricks actually have the balls to claim Kobe is becoming a real team player.  62pts and 0 assists...how's that for teamwork?
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You probably forgot to tune into the Who Gives a Shit Bowl last night.  Don't worry, the college teams you actually want to watch start playing now.  Tonight it's the Irony Bowl, with the Mormons playing the Anarchists in Vegas. The Strip is gonna be a freak show.  Nobody in Utah is supposed to gamble, so The House might be giving BYU a little extra love to attract some action.  I'm sure Ace & Hot Rod are calling every bible thumper they know to see if Jesus is making a special gambling exception for Bowl Games.
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The NCAA banned Matty Leinart from the Rose Bowl for about 5 seconds earlier this month.  That would have set off the "Preppy Riots" in LA. USC alum bankers and lawyers would have been torching BMWs and Hummers all over Santa Monica.  The House and the bookies would have had a real mess to clean up too with the USC -7.5 spread turned on its head.
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Tennis player Mariano Puerta wasn't so lucky.  He got the shit kicked out of him with an 8 year ban for drugs. For that kind of punishment, you'd think he was a lab rat for BALCO right?  Nope, he had traces of his wife's hypertension meds in his system that the ITF admitted was "too small to have any effect on his performance."  Poor Bastard.  NBX Wisegirl Monica would take my mind off of an 8 year ban.
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UPDATE:  Hey all you dickweeds...listen up.  Sweet Lou just heard we've been nominated for Best Newcomer on the Red Reporter's 2005 Blog Awards.  So thanks to whoever threw our name in the hat.  Now the rest of you...get over there and vote!

Ace and Hot Rod's Value Line (12/22/05)

We're putting 3 units on Cal (moneyline -300) over BYU in the Las Vegas Bowl tonight.**

• Defense: Cal 20.5, BYU 28.5
• Point Scoring Differential: Cal 12.2, BYU 4.7
• Cal is 16-7 against the moneyline when they score 28 or more points in a game.  And, we don't think BYU's defense will be able to hold Cal to under 28.

We're also putting 1.10 units on Navy (-3, -110) over Colorado State in the Poinsettia Bowl tonight.**

• Offense: Navy 32.6, Colorado State 26.5
• Defense: Navy 25.7, Colorado State 28.9
• Point Scoring Differential: Navy 6.9, Colorado State -2.5
• Navy was 8-3 ATS this season
• Navy is 11-3 ATS in its last 14 lined games

**Up to game time, picks can change with shifting lines, injuries and arrests.  So check back just before the game/event starts, or subscribe to the RSS feed so you get the updates automatically.**